var quotes=new Array()
//change the quotes if desired. Add/ delete additional quotes as desired.
var i = 0
quotes[i++]='"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours" - Stephen Roberts'
quotes[i++]='"It is said that men may not be the dreams of the Gods, but rather that the Gods are the dreams of men." - Carl Sagan'
quotes[i++]='"Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, & the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people." - Karl Marx'
quotes[i++]='"The church says the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I have seen the shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the church." - Ferdinand Magellan'
quotes[i++]='"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony'
quotes[i++]='"No philosophy, no religion, has ever brought so glad a message to the world as this good news of Atheism." - Annie Wood Besant'
quotes[i++]='"Men never commit evil so fully and joyfully as when they do it for religious convictions." - Blaise Pascal'
quotes[i++]='"Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense." - Chapman Cohen'
quotes[i++]='"No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says; he is always convinced that it says what he means." - George Bernard Shaw'
quotes[i++]='"As people become more intelligent they care less for preachers and more for teachers." - Robert G. Ingersoll'
quotes[i++]='"The world holds two classes of men - intelligent men without religion, and religious men without intelligence." - Abu Ala Al-Maarri'
quotes[i++]='"History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government." - Thomas Jefferson'
quotes[i++]='"It was, of course, a lie...I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly." - Albert Einstein'
quotes[i++]='"I have never seen the slightest scientific proof of the religious ideas of heaven and hell, of future life for individuals, or of a personal God." - Thomas Edison'
quotes[i++]='"In the absence of fear there is little faith." - Michael Pain '
quotes[i++]='"Religion is based on the observations of a primitive society and is never tested. Science is based on the observations of an advanced society and is constantly tested." - Unknown'
quotes[i++]='"[The Bible] has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies." - Mark Twain'
quotes[i++]='"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one." - George Bernard Shaw'
quotes[i++]='"We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God, who creates faulty Humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes." - Gene Roddenberry'
quotes[i++]='"All natural institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian, or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit." - Thomas Paine '
quotes[i++]='"If you claim that something is true, I will examine the evidence which supports your claim; if you have no evidence, I will not accept that what you say is true and I will think you a foolish and gullible person for believing it so." - Dan Gardner'
//quotes[i++]='"Don\'t sweat the petty things and don\'t pet the sweaty things." - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor." - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"Atheism is a non-prophet organisation." - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live." - George Carlin'
quotes[i++]='"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, \'Where\'s the self-help section\' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose." - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren\'t going as ghosts but as mattresses?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"Is there another word for synonym?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"Isn\'t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"Where do forest rangers go to \'get away from it all?\'" - George Carlin'
quotes[i++]='"What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"Would a fly without wings be called a walk?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"If a turtle doesn\'t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"Why don\'t sheep shrink when it rains?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?" - George Carlin'
quotes[i++]='"Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"How do blind people know when they are done wiping?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"Is it true that cannibals don\'t eat clowns because they taste funny?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"What was the best thing before sliced bread?" - George Carlin'
quotes[i++]='"One nice thing about egotists: they don\'t talk about other people." - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it." - George Carlin'
quotes[i++]='"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups." - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"The older you get, the better you realise you were." - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"Age is a very high price to pay for maturity." - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday." - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"Women like silent men, they think they\'re listening." - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it." - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day." - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesday?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"If God dropped acid, would he see people?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown, too?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?" - George Carlin'
//quotes[i++]='"If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?" - George Carlin'
quotes[i++]='"If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?" - George Carlin'
quotes[i++]='"If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?" - George Carlin'
quotes[i++]='"We\'ve been attacked by the intelligent, educated segment of the culture." - Ray Mummert, creationist from Dover, Pennsylvania, 2005'
quotes[i++]='"We face no greater danger today than theocratic tyranny...." - ironically, Mitt Romney, 2008 US presidential campaign'
//quotes[i++]='"Shit happens." - unknown Taoist monk'
//quotes[i++]='"When shit happens, is it really shit?" - unknown Buddahist monk'
//quotes[i++]='"This shit wouldn\'t happen if I worked harder." - unknown Presbyterian'
//quotes[i++]='"If shit happens, I deserve it." - unknown Roman Catholic'
//quotes[i++]='"This shit has happened before!" - unknown Hindu'
//quotes[i++]='"Let\'s smoke this shit!" - unknown Rastafarian'
quotes[i++]='"Scientists accept as a given that behind every physical effect lies a physical cause. That seems to rule out supernatural causes, leaving gods with little to do." - Bob Park'
quotes[i++]='"Putting astronauts on space stations is like putting little human tellers inside ATM machines." - Bob Park'
quotes[i++]='"He who refuses to do arithmetic is doomed to talk nonsense." - John McCarthy'
quotes[i++]='"It liberates the vandal to travel--you never saw a bigoted, opinionated, stubborn, narrow-minded, self-conceited, almighty mean man in your life but he had stuck in one place since he was born." - Mark Twain'
quotes[i++]='"The foundation of morality is to ... give up pretending to believe that for which there is no evidence, and repeating unintelligible propositions about things beyond the possibilities of knowledge." - T. H. Huxley'
quotes[i++]='"Somebody\'s gotta stand up to the experts." - Don McLeroy, Dentist, Creationist, and chairman of the Texas Board of Education'
quotes[i++]='"When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn\'t work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me." - anonymous '
var whichquote=Math.floor(Math.random()*(quotes.length))
//whichquote=quotes.length-1
document.write(quotes[whichquote])